DEAR MAN
DESCRIBE
Describe the situation when necessary – sometimes it isn’t stick to the facts and no judgmental statements
“I’ve been working here for 2 years now and haven’t received a raise, even though my performance reviews have always been positive”
“This is the third time this week that you’ve asked me for a ride home.”
EXPRESS
Express feelings/opinions about the situation clearly.…
Myths about Interpersonal Effectiveness
Everybody has some worries about standing up for themselves expressing opinions and saying no. Some of these worries are based on myths about interpersonal behavior.
There are two ways to counteract these myths
1.…
What Emotions Do for You
Emotions Motivate (and Organize) Us for Action
Emotions motivate our behavior. Emotions prepare us for action.
The action urge of specific emotions is often “hard-wired” in biology.
Emotions save time in getting us to act in important situations.…
Ideas for Practicing Nonjudgmentalness
Leaving out comparisons, judgments, and assumptions:
1. Practice observing judgmental thoughts and statements, saying in your mind, “A judgmental thought arose in my mind.”
2. Count judgmental thoughts and statements (by moving objects or pieces of paper from one pocket to another, by clicking a sports counter, or by marking a piece of paper).…
Expression of anger can be healthy when presented effectively
Anger as a primary emotion: normative and justified in the situation, and effective to experience or express
VERSUS
Anger as a secondary emotion: non-normative or not justified in the situation, or problematic/ineffective to experience or express
Primary or Effective Secondary or Problematic
Sadness, disappointment Anger
Guilt or shame Anger
Fear Anger
Jealousy Anger
Judgments (about oneself or another) also lead to anger
Please follow and like us:…
Taking Hold of Your Mind: “How” Skills
Non-judgmentally
See, but don’t evaluate as good or bad. Just the facts.
Accept each moment like a blanket spread out on the lawn, accepting both the rain and the sun and each leaf that falls upon it.…
Taking Hold of Your Mind: “What” Skills
Observe
Notice your body sensations (coming through your eyes, ears, nose, skin, and tongue).
Pay attention on purpose, to the present moment.
Control your attention, but not what you see.…
Options for Solving Any Problem
When life presents you with problems, what are your options?
1. Solve the Problem
Change the situation . . . or avoid, leave, or get out of the situation for good.…
