Discernment Counseling for Couples

Discernment Counseling is a specialized form of short-term couples therapy designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. The goal of Discernment Counseling is to help couples navigate the uncertainty they face, find resolution, and move forward with confidence and clarity, regardless of the ultimate decision they make.
Find a Therapist
Z

Quick Facts

  • Focused and Time-Limited
  • Non-Biased and Non-Judgmental
  • Individual and Joint Sessions
  • Emphasis on Understanding and Clarity
  • Involvement of a Skilled Counselor
  • Not Traditional Couples Therapy
  • Respect for Individual Decision-Making

Informational Video

Effective Treatment For

Discernment Counseling is a specialized form of treatment primarily designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship. It provides a structured process to explore options and gain clarity regarding the next steps. Discernment Counseling is specifically intended for couples in the following situations:

  • Contemplating Divorce or Separation
  • One Partner Wants to Continue, and the Other is Unsure
  • Experiencing Communication and Relationship Challenges
  • Seeking Clarity and Understanding
  • Exploring Reconciliation or Commitment

Discernment Counseling for Couples

Benefits

Clarity and Understanding: Discernment Counseling provides a structured process for couples to gain clarity and understanding about their relationship. It helps partners explore their concerns, motivations, and fears, allowing them to make more informed decisions.

Reduced Emotional Distress: Uncertainty about the future of a relationship can create significant emotional distress for individuals and couples. Discernment Counseling offers a safe space to express and process these emotions, leading to emotional relief and a sense of understanding.

Improved Communication: Communication breakdowns often contribute to relationship challenges. Discernment Counseling focuses on improving communication skills, facilitating effective dialogue, and enhancing understanding between partners. This can lead to healthier interactions and improved communication patterns.

Potential for Reconciliation and Growth: For couples considering separation or divorce, Discernment Counseling creates an opportunity to explore the potential for reconciliation and growth. It helps partners examine their patterns, dynamics, and unresolved issues, potentially leading to renewed commitment and a stronger partnership.

Informed Decision-Making: Discernment Counseling empowers couples to make informed decisions about their relationship. It helps them gain a realistic understanding of their dynamics, individual needs, and potential for change. This informed decision-making process enables couples to choose a path that aligns with their values and personal well-being.

Increased Clarity for Future Steps: Even if the ultimate decision is to separate or divorce, Discernment Counseling assists couples in understanding the factors contributing to their uncertainty and clarifying their intentions. This clarity helps individuals transition with a greater sense of purpose and confidence.

What is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment Counseling is a specialized form of counseling designed for couples who are unsure about the future of their relationship and contemplating divorce or separation. It is a short-term and structured therapeutic process that helps couples gain clarity and make informed decisions about the next steps in their relationship.

The primary focus of Discernment Counseling is to assist couples in exploring three paths: staying in the relationship as it is, pursuing a divorce or separation, or committing to a focused effort on reconciliation and relationship repair. The goal is to help partners gain a deeper understanding of themselves, their partner, and the patterns and dynamics within their relationship.

Unlike traditional couples therapy, Discernment Counseling is not about solving problems or working on relationship issues directly. Instead, it provides a safe and supportive space for couples to examine their concerns, emotions, and motivations. The counselor helps facilitate open and honest conversations, allowing each partner to express their perspectives, desires, and doubts.

Discernment Counseling typically involves a combination of individual and joint sessions. In individual sessions, each partner has an opportunity to privately explore their thoughts and feelings. Joint sessions provide a platform for guided conversations where couples engage in structured dialogues facilitated by the counselor.

The role of the counselor in Discernment Counseling is to support both partners without taking sides or advocating for a specific outcome. The counselor helps couples navigate the complexities of their emotions and decision-making process while providing guidance, insight, and tools to facilitate productive discussions.

Discernment Counseling is time-limited and usually consists of 1-5 sessions. The number of sessions can vary depending on the couple’s needs and progress. It is a collaborative effort between the couple and the counselor, with an emphasis on creating a safe and non-judgmental environment for exploration and reflection.

The overarching purpose of Discernment Counseling is to provide couples with the clarity and understanding necessary to make a thoughtful and informed decision about the future of their relationship. It helps couples gain insight into themselves, their partner, and their relationship dynamics, empowering them to move forward with confidence, whether that involves continuing the relationship, pursuing separation, or committing to reconciliation efforts.

Frequently Asked Questions

How is Discernment Counseling different from other types of Couples Therapy?

Focus on Decision-Making: Discernment Counseling is specifically designed for couples who are uncertain about the future of their relationship and considering divorce or separation. The primary focus is on helping couples make an informed decision about the next steps, whether that involves continuing the relationship, pursuing separation, or committing to reconciliation efforts. Other types of couples therapy often aim to address ongoing relationship issues and promote relationship improvement.

Short-Term and Time-Limited: Discernment Counseling is a short-term form of therapy that typically involves 1-5 sessions. It is designed to be a condensed and focused process aimed at helping couples gain clarity and make decisions within a relatively short timeframe. In contrast, other types of couples therapy may involve longer-term treatment focused on addressing specific issues and promoting overall relationship growth.

Non-Directive and Non-Judgmental Stance: Discernment Counseling maintains a non-directive and non-judgmental stance. The counselor does not take sides or push for a specific outcome. Instead, they create a safe space for couples to explore their concerns, emotions, and options, providing support, guidance, and insight without imposing their own agenda. Other types of couples therapy may involve more active guidance and intervention from the therapist.

Individual and Joint Sessions: Discernment Counseling typically includes a combination of individual and joint sessions. Individual sessions provide a confidential space for each partner to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns privately. Joint sessions facilitate structured conversations and dialogues between the couple, allowing for exploration and understanding of shared perspectives and dynamics. In contrast, other types of couples therapy may primarily focus on joint sessions, with limited individual sessions.

Outcome Options: Discernment Counseling acknowledges and explores three possible outcomes: staying in the relationship as it is, pursuing separation or divorce, or committing to a focused effort on reconciliation and relationship repair. The goal is to help couples make a decision that aligns with their individual and relational needs. Other types of couples therapy may have a primary goal of improving the relationship, with the assumption that the couple wants to stay together.

It’s important to note that Discernment Counseling is not a substitute for traditional couples therapy. It is a specialized approach designed to assist couples in decision-making during times of uncertainty. The focus is on gaining clarity, understanding, and making an informed choice about the future of the relationship.

 

Is Discernment a structured approach to Couples Therapy?

Discernment Counseling is considered a structured approach to couples therapy, although it differs from traditional couples therapy in its specific focus and objectives. While traditional couples therapy typically involves a more open-ended and exploratory process, Discernment Counseling follows a structured framework that guides couples through the decision-making process regarding the future of their relationship.

The structure of Discernment Counseling includes several key elements:

Clear Goals: Discernment Counseling has a clear goal of helping couples gain clarity and make an informed decision about their relationship. The focus is on exploring three potential paths: continuing the relationship as it is, pursuing separation or divorce, or committing to a focused effort on reconciliation.

Time-Limited Sessions: Discernment Counseling is designed to be time-limited, usually consisting of 1-5 sessions. The condensed nature of the therapy allows couples to address their concerns and make progress within a shorter timeframe.

Individual and Joint Sessions: Discernment Counseling incorporates both individual and joint sessions. Individual sessions provide a space for each partner to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns privately. Joint sessions allow for structured dialogues and conversations between the couple, facilitated by the counselor.

Focused Exploration: The structure of Discernment Counseling emphasizes a focused exploration of the couple’s dynamics, concerns, and options. The counselor guides the discussions, helping couples gain insight into their relationship patterns, unresolved issues, and individual needs, with the aim of informing the decision-making process.

Non-Directive Stance: While providing structure, Discernment Counseling maintains a non-directive stance. The counselor does not advocate for a particular outcome but supports the couple in exploring their options and understanding their emotions and motivations.

The structured approach of Discernment Counseling provides couples with a clear framework and direction as they navigate their decision-making process. It offers a focused and supportive space to address concerns, explore possibilities, and make an informed choice about the future of their relationship.

How many sessions do we need?

The number of sessions needed for Discernment Counseling can vary depending on the unique circumstances and needs of each couple. However, Discernment Counseling typically involves a limited number of sessions, typically ranging from 1 to 5 sessions.

The purpose of Discernment Counseling is to provide a condensed and focused process to help couples gain clarity and make informed decisions about the future of their relationship. The specific number of sessions required will depend on various factors, including the complexity of the issues, the level of uncertainty, and the progress made during each session.

During the initial session, the counselor will gather information, assess the couple’s needs, and outline the goals and structure of the counseling process. Subsequent sessions will involve individual and joint sessions where the couple explores their concerns, motivations, and options.

The counselor will work collaboratively with the couple to determine the appropriate number of sessions needed to address their specific situation. The goal is to provide sufficient time for exploration and discussion while respecting the time-limited nature of Discernment Counseling.

It’s important to keep in mind that Discernment Counseling is not intended to be a long-term therapy process. Instead, it offers a focused and time-bound opportunity for couples to gain clarity and make decisions about their relationship.

Where can I learn more?

The Meadows: The Meadows is a renowned treatment center that offers Post Induction Therapy as part of their trauma and addiction recovery programs. Their website provides information about PIT and its application. Visit their website at: https://www.themeadows.com/

Pia Mellody: Pia Mellody, the developer of Post Induction Therapy, has written several books on the subject. “Facing Codependence,” “Facing Love Addiction,” and “The Intimacy Factor” are some of her notable works that provide in-depth insight into the concepts and techniques of PIT. https://www.piamellody.com/

Seek Professional Help: If you’re seeking professional guidance on your mental health journey, Mindfully Healing is here to help. Take the first step towards healing by contact Mindfully Healing today to schedule a consultation with one of our therapists. Contact us at (952) 491-9450 to schedule an appointment and let the healing begin.